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June 22nd, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Prince Charming: Big, Dumb, Handsome, Slow

Prince Charming is a slow boy, apparently, because he’s fumbling with her foot when so much joy awaits just inches away behind a mere wisp of her underthings that she couldn’t be displaying more blatantly:

Cinderella with her skirts up looking pissed off as Prince Charming ignores her charms to fumble with her foot

I don’t have a source for this Cinderella meme. Update: Thanks to J in the comments, now we know the artist (not the meme creator) is Steven Stahlberg, who has a Patreon. There is also a bare-pussy version of the artwork out there, but I can’t tell if it’s the artist’s work or a fan/machine edit.

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June 20th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Big Anal Dildo

It’s been a little while since I looked at the current shoots being produced for the Everything Butt channel at Kink.com and honestly? I had forgotten just how anally ambitious they tend to be:

large anal dildo halfway inserted

Photo is from the recent Ass Service shoot starring Lauren Phillips and Victoria Voxxx.

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June 18th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Happy Plow Day

Right after Father’s Day, TikTok was completely abuzz with this 11-second video (backup link) of professional pretty person Ella asking “And how dare I forget to say happy father’s day to the man that I put into Plow Pose and then {handjob gesture} cranked his kids right into his own mouth? Happy Father’s Day, babe!”

At the time of writing the video has two million views, more than 15k comments, has been shared and forwarded more than 300k times, and there are innumerable stitches and reaction videos. I guess I’d say the reactions are generally positive, but tinged with a lot of flabbergast from men and women alike. Motherless behavior, fatherless behavior, too much dommy-mommy, not enough dommy-mommy, where do we sign up, girl you’re making the rest of us look bad… people are super engaged.

You might, like I was at first, mostly just be confused. What is “plough pose”? The yoga girlies and gym people all know, but middle aged fat men like me had to look it up, or guess from the context:

There’s really nothing all that scandalous about a woman with a dominant vibe talking for eleven seconds about giving her man a handjob with the suggestion of making him eat his own cum, which itself is a not-very-uncommon fetish. (I understand that a lot of young men come by it honestly, if you’ll forgive the phrasing, from “eating the evidence” of their adolescent wankery.) So what is it about this innocent clip that made it go so apeshit viral? Speculate in the comments, if you like!

I did think that as a proper reader service I ought to do a minimal Rule 34 search for “Yoga Plow Position Femdom Forced Cum Eating”. You’ve all listened to me bitch about how Google has faded and no longer serves good search results for porn; well, this is precisely what I mean:

no plow position handjobs in Google

However, I did a bit better on Yandex, which is still willing to remember and admit that filthy femdom porn is out there:

screenshot of a hooded man being jacked off by a dominatrix as she milks his prostate with a dildo and forces him to cum into his own mouth

It’s from a nameless clip on a nameless pirate tube and the yoga won’t win any yoga awards, but it’s enough to satisfy the rule: there is indeed porn of it.

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June 16th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Who Has More Fun (Measured With Blowjobs)

Charles Engle was talking with his gay roommate about the comparative hedonic experience of single straight men versus single gay men in New York City, and the video went somewhere pretty funny:

Transcript:

One time, my gay roommate asked me, he goes, “Who do you think has more fun in New York? Like single straight people or single gay people?”

And I was like, “I don’t know. I’ve had a girlfriend the whole time I’ve been in New York.”

And he goes, “Okay, but when you were single, how many blowjobs did you get a day?”

And I was like, “You guys have more fun. You’re telling me you measure your BJs in days? You get blown the amount of times you’re supposed to brush your teeth?”

And he was like, “Yeah, on Grinder, I get like two a day.”

And I was like, “Is there, like, reverse conversion therapy? Cause I would like to enroll! Like, you know when you put something to Google Translate and it’s like Spanish to English? English to Spanish, that little flip button? Fucking sign me up! Cause if I was getting two a day, I would not complain about anything in my life.

So we started dating. And, um… I’ve truly never been happier.

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June 14th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Daisy Chain Foursome

Does this daisy chain foursome also qualify as a spontaneous outdoor orgy?

spontaneous exhibitionist foursome group sex

If you choose to believe the Dutch marketing copy in Chick #241, perhaps! Bearing in mind that believing the marketing copy in a porn magazine is always a willful choice to suspend disbelief, the machine translation reads like this:

Spontaneous sex! Just in the middle of a meadow, two men and two women are busy satisfying each other with mouth and fingers. Thanks to their clever position, everyone gets his/her needs met. For especially for the sucking lady above, it can be seen that it gives them a lot of pleasure; she clearly enjoys it and knows that she is at this moment being photographed…

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June 12th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

The Good Wife Project

Road head isn’t safe, unless you pull over and get out first:

woman in a dress with her tits out kneeling beside a 1970s car to give the driver a blowjob

Photo is from Pascha No. 3, and some sources say the woman on her knees is 70s pornstar Jane Iwanoff.

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June 10th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Blowjobs, Granola, And Divorce?

What leads to divorce? Divorce lawyer James Sexton says it’s when spouses abandon small acts of affection and love. On the Mighty Pursuit podcast, interviewer asked him “What leads to divorce?” He said “Blowjobs and granola.” Of course, there was a story behind that answer:

So I had a client, a young woman, a beautiful woman, married to a very successful guy in finance, and they had a very successful marriage, and then the marriage ended.

And we were going through this very contentious ugly trial. And we were sitting outside of the courthouse and I was chatting with her and I said, you know, was there a moment when you knew your marriage was over?

And she said, oh, yeah, absolutely.

And she said, well, this is gonna sound weird, but there was this granola that I really liked, and they only sold it at Whole Foods.

And she said, my husband used to always get it for me. She said, one day I opened the cabinet and the granola bag was empty. And I thought, oh, that’s weird, that’s never happened before. So I left it there cause I thought, oh, he hasn’t noticed, and like, when he notices, he’s gonna get more of a granola.

And he never did.

And I said to her, was there anything like that that you did for him?

And with no hesitation, she said, yeah, blow jobs. I’d give blow jobs all the time, like couple times a week. She’s like, because it took like three minutes. She’s like, I never made a decision like, oh, I’m not giving him blowjobs anymore, she decided, but it just like, life got in the way. And then, like, I realized, like, oh, yeah, it been like three weeks since I gave him one. And then it became, oh, it was months since I gave him a blowjob.

I think these are acts of affection and love.

And if the goal is for my spouse to feel loved, cared for, excited about me, inspired to want to radiate love back to me, I don’t know, it feels like a pretty good investment. Why does that go away?

I think what poisons us that we shift our mindset.

Like, it’s no longer, look what I can do. Look at the power I have to make this person feel so good in this awful world sometimes, right?

We shift our mindset from that to, I don’t owe you granola, I don’t owe you a blowjob.

You can justify almost any discourtesy or lack of love and courtesy to each other, because you can’t be in a relationship with someone day to day and not find an abundance of things to be pissed about, or to be grateful for, by the way.

So I think the death spiral for me is about you’re just focusing on all those other things. Like, you know, well, he hasn’t bought me granola. Well, you know, yeah, I didn’t buy you granola cause you’re not nice to me.

You’re both right.

Great job. You’re both right.

You have a right to your misery.

Awesome. Great job, guys.

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