Christian Fellatio: A Rant
Not my rant, I fear. But Violet Blue (whom I haven’t linked to in far too long) recently wrote a well-reviewed book about fellatio, and wonders thusly about the negative reviews from an unexpected quarter:
Why the hell are Christians reading my fellatio book, and even stranger, what unholy ghost possesses them to write bad reviews about it on Amazon? Like, duh — my book is about a very dirty sex act (the dirtier the better) and the content is… offending them! I can only guess that the book was recommended on some Christian messageboard, the ladies thought, well I spend a lot of time on my knees, why not make Jesus a happy man, and bought the book (I’ll take that money, thank you very much. No, no — don’t give it to the Family Values Coalition, give it to the cute girl with glasses who likes to write about sucking cock). Then they read the book and realized that to suck a cock, you need either a) another nice Christian lady with a (preferably huge) black strap-on cock, or b) a real, non-imaginary man (unlike Jesus). But seriously, in the book I don’t judge anyone’s preferences about anything — religion, sexual activity, gender, predisposition to get really wet imagining Mike Ditka throwing that football through the tire swing talking about erections while clutching my fellatio book cleverly camouflaged in a paper bag bookcover with the word “BIBLE” scrawled on the cover and “Jesus is really hot.” No, I judge not. Even I think Jesus deserves a really rockin’ blowjob. And doesn’t he have like a million volunteers for the task?
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=747
i thought that the bible condemned all sex outside of procreation?
my extremely liberal college recently put on a production of the vagina monologues, and a conservative christian walked out because he was physically nauseated by the show; sex without the context of reproduction made him ill.
As a Christian from a Conservative religion, it is the churches that say sex is only for procreation, in particular the Catholic church. They are after all the ones who banned contraceptives. Shows how much the rest of the christians need to hire a good PR firm to let the world know we don’t all hang on the Pope’s coat-tails.
Bacchus, I apologize if this violates the “don’t be a dick” rule. I’m trying to say this as nicely as possible.
We sex-positive types have good, well-developed ethical standards that we do our best to follow. Because we are a varied crowd, there is a lot of variation, but nearly all of us have thought hard about what we believe.
Christians also have good, well-developed ethical standards that they do their best to follow. Christianity is also a varied crowd, and there is a lot of variation in what they believe.
I think it’s hypocritical of us sex-positives to condemn Christians for being intolerant of our lifestyle, while making as little effort as possible to understand what they believe. I don’t think it’s fair to hold Christian A to Christian B’s standards, which may well be different. And I don’t like the way we laugh at them for their mistakes when we’re hardly perfect ourselves.
There’s a quote here that I think we can all stand behind: “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”.
Pete.
Nicely said Pete.
i’m woke up this morning thinging… ‘Ya know… the world is politically correct and tolerant of everything BUT Christianity.’ What kind of shit is that? I understand that Christians on their soap boxes have much to do with the intolerance but we are not ALL LIKE THAT! There are some sex positive Christians that live by only two simple principles:
Love God.
Love Your Neighbor.
So be considerate of us…Kay?
Hey everybody, I don’t think anybody is in danger of violating the “Don’t Be A Dick” rule here.
I quoted the rant (and called it that) because I thought it was over-the-top enough to be funny, not because I agree with everything in it. I do think some Christians eroticise their relationship with Jesus, and I don’t have a problem with poking fun at that – I believe in poking fun at all manner of human folly, and I don’t think a religious context for the folly should immunize it from good-natured ridicule.
And, obviously, there are some Christians who are so anti-sex as to be risible. Again, I’m all for poking fun at that. And my good humor sometimes slips, because of all the pain and suffering that sort of repression causes. But I still don’t believe in being mean about it, when I can help it.
I will say this: Violet Blue’s rant was over-the-top in that campy way that is common in San Francisco, but it didn’t strike me as mean-spirited. However, I do see how others could read it differently.
As a Christian, I have to say that I am bothered by generalizations that cover all Christians or churches. I am Christian and the thought that sex is just for procreation is honestly just silly. If it was just for procreation we would lay eggs and fertilize them like a fish. Sex is incredible and one of the (usually) positive side effects is procreation!