Sex Spam Subject Lines
I’ve been accumulating a little file of the oddest and most disturbing spam subject lines from amongst the zillion porn spams a day that I get. It’s time to share:
Olga gets butt hole rammed and facial blasted
Ouch! Poor Olga! Is she a porn model or a very unfortunate quarry worker?
barely legal perverts gangbanged by wild bears
Zoophilia with bears? Gangbanging bears? Who’s the target demographic here?
watch hot chicks get smacked around
Uh, no thanks. Also, please die.
correct penis oil
Important to get this right, because incorrect penis oil makes your dick fall off.
lesbians piss and smoke
They do? Why yes, I suppose some of them do. Your point is?
Urgent Notification #34419569771119606167
Er, if you’ve already sent out 34 quintillion notifications, you’ve been at it quite awhile. How urgent can this one really be?
Do you want killing sweet viirgin girls ?
That would be a big negatory, Bob. Geez, what a waste of sweet virgin girls. A few other useful projects for them I can think of, if they’re of age and willing, but killing them? Piss off.
Wait, are you the same guy who wrote to me about smacking hot chicks around? You must not have got the memo about women and sex. You know, sex, the fun stuff? Where nobody gets hurt unless they asks very nicely?
Ultra Allure Pheromones will kill her
I guess they don’t work so good then. Have you considered toxic waste disposal rather than direct email sales? Wait, did you buy this stuff from the guy who claims his penis oil is correct?
Jasmine burn anal pumped and cum blasted
Does she work with Olga? Has anybody thought to call OSHA?
Young Bitches so refined and charming!
Which is it? Are they bitches? Or charming? I don’t think I’ve ever met a charming bitch. For that matter, I mostly try to avoid bitches. Don’t you think you’d get better response if you omitted the “bitch” descriptor from your advertising for these refined and charming young women?
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=1529
Recent subject line:
“Busty teen sucks swallows”
…Yes, but does she spit the feathers out afterwards?
Oh the horror one finds looking through the discarded e-mails. Does it seem that the offers are getting more strident? Gotta luv the whitelist filters.
:) Now THAT’s funny! Loved it!
If my invisible penis were as large as the ads wanted it to be, I could have sex with the moon.
There is such a thing as a charming bitch, I am one!
My #1 all time fav, perhaps because I am female “get a pussy ripping whale dick”
Wonder who thought of that one? haha :hehe:
Well that made me giggle.
To think that you missed all those previous urgent notifications. Too too bad.
I think the question is: how are these porn spammers making money? Are there people out there that read these terribly written emails and click on the link?
Then pay for it?
Who?
Are you one? Show yourself!
I can just imagine all these little old ladies reading their e-mail and sending off polite replies with corrected grammar and spelling
“killing sweet birgin girls”? What are they doing– throwing them into a volcano? Where’s Tom Hanks when you need him?
Apart from some of those you mention that seem to be generated by stringing together some random words (quite poetic as we’ve seen :P ), there’s some that just leave you wondering, like “You always wanted to use your dick as a billiards cue” (which is news to me :D )
And you wonder why we never go to that bar anymore. :D
I can never seem to get the blue stuff off the tip after I do that.
Wait, maybe “killing” is an intensifier in “killing sweet”? As in “these girls are soooo sweet you’ll keel right over!”?
I just started reading the blog, so this is a stupidly out-of-date comment, but the craziest subject line of my experience:
“tear her apart with your monster cock”
Now THAT is appealing.
I love to catch one for “a larger penis” followed by “get a great set of tits.” If I’ve got a great set of tits, my penis size doesn’t matter… cause I ain’t going ANYwhere!
One lady told me if I had breasts I’d get tired of them after a while… some women know so little about men!
re; comment #15:
If women get tired of their breasts “after a while”, you’d think that they’d WELCOME breast cancer. If this is true, don’t count on me for any more of those pink ribbon contributions…
re; comment #10:
If a guy really REALLY desired to use his penis for a cue stick, wouldn’t there presumably be a problem with sticky balls on the felt if he obtained a state of satisfaction…