I frequently stumble over the ambiguities of porn taxonomy. For example, if I say “double blowjob”, does that suggest to you that two women are fellating the same cock? Or that one woman is fellating two squished-together cocks at once? Or is she simply kneeling in front of two naked men and alternating her oral attentions upon them? It’s undefined, and that’s frustrating. But in this case, it means two women are simultaneously lavishing their oral attentions on the same cock:

Photo is from the cover of Intercourse In Colors #10.

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The woman so flexible she can (and will!) cross her ankles behind her head for you during sex is something of a mythic creature, like a unicorn or a winged horse. Men talk about her, none of us would kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but nobody (in my circles anyway) has ever actually met her and had sex with her. I did once have a girlfriend who claimed to be “flexible, innovative, and curious” (which she was) but she was not that flexible, nor (it turned out) was she as loyal as I was committed. Oh, well, so it goes.

Moving rapidly along, here is today’s reminder that unicorns, Pegasi, and flexi-girls are real:

I don’t know the flexible model’s name but she shot this for Naughty America.

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Enshittification does not usually involve actual shit; nor does it here. But the scenario invoked by this meme (a public restroom that revokes the opacity of its stall walls as a unilateral “privacy policy” update) would be the very quintessence of enshittification:

I researched this viral image (with and without the meme caption) but was unable to locate an original source; it has been very widely distributed. However, Reddit is full of Internet Smartguys™ who will assure you that this is a real restroom outfitted with smart glass that can be made opaque by stall users. I don’t know if that is true. Internet Smartguys™ frequently volunteer as unpaid defense lawyers for all kinds of nonsense. It seems like a lot of extra expense for no obvious reason that I can discern. But conspicuous consumption happens, so.

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It’s fun to read together with your lover on a sunny afternoon, especially if she wears a short skirt and lets you get away with surreptitious upskirt peepings:

These are said to be A. J. Applegate and Jordan Ash in a Brazzers scene (that I don’t have a link for) titled Filthy Fuck Part One.

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Little Paws has a message she’d like you to hear:

Transcript:

This is just a reminder that you could be a loyal, good-hearted, and genuine person, but also a dirty, horny little sex monster! They’re not mutually exclusive…

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Joey W. Hill’s paranormal erotic romance In The Company Of Witches has a light moment that may explain some of the gender discrepancy among fans of the movie Titanic:

She pressed a smile against his muscular biceps, caressed his forearm. The man was built like a brick house. No wonder Ruby had been intoxicated by him. For some reason, she wasn’t pleased with that thought, so she pushed it away to notice he was looking at her TV table. He dropped his head to the pillow behind her, puffed a breath on her neck that sent a shiver down her spine. Almost… playful.

“Titanic,” he said. “Is there any female who doesn’t like that movie?”

She tilted her head to look at him. She had a desire to caress his jaw, but she quelled it. “Only the ones without estrogen. Is there any male who doesn’t hate it? And why is that, by the way?”

“It’s a chick flick on steroids.” He made a pained expression. “A male watches a ninety-minute romance with a woman because he anticipates sex as payment for his attention. Ninety minutes is a fair exchange. A three-hour movie, with a tragic ending that leaves the woman sobbing, needing consolation, not sexual pleasure? That’s above and beyond the call of duty. He has to be flat-on-his-ass in love with her to put up with that shit.”

She elbowed him in the gut, wasn’t at all surprised when he caught it before it could make contact. Wrapping his arms closer around her, he nuzzled her neck…

No need to “not all men” us in the comments; what we have here is a gross generalization for comic effect. There are plenty of men who aren’t so transactional. But it’s hardly uncommon for a man to watch a movie he’s not interested in with a woman he absolutely is interested in, because the viewing offers an opportunity to enjoy closeness and companionship with her. Although the aphrodisiacal effects of closeness and companionship are known, it does not necessarily follow that men can’t value these for their own sake, or in combination with some hoped-for hanky-panky.

Bonus link: Titanic The Way It Should Have Been

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Breast sex, aka the fun kind of tit jobs, aka tit fucking, is at the core of the modern economy, and I can prove it:

It’s true: you can’t spell “adverTIsemenTS” without “semen” between the “tits”!

Many hundreds of people have had fun making short videos to share this sentiment, but this one is by Feline Fumbles, using audio from the original by voice actor Isaakwells.

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