In which Acidman shuffles the deck of humanity and explains how to deal for maximum good times all around:

“Why are people so confused, tangled and mangled about sex? From my experience, I’ve learned that people are like a deck of cards. Everybody fits into a certain suit. Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs or Spades, and everybody picks what they want to be. The hearts want love, the diamonds want wealth, the clubs like things dangerous and the spades work hard and never make much money. Everybody screws, but hearts don’t last with clubs and spades don’t last with diamonds. You’ve got to find your own suit, or it will never work.”

Now we just need a volunteer to step up to the plate and gin up a “What Suit Are You?” quiz.