…at first person shooters.

In fact, I mostly don’t play them, because I suck at them so bad. My situational awareness is bad and my reflexes are distinctly middle aged.

But I did spend a lot of time as an engineer in Battlefield II a few years back, because I had a tank-driving buddy who needed me to ride up top, spot helicopters, plink at them with the .50, wrench on the treads from time to time, and clear tricky flags with the shotgun.

I sucked at it. I died and died and died and died. But my tanker buddy died less, I guess, than when he didn’t have a gunner/engineer.

When you die in a first person shooter, less-mature opponents may come and caper or crouch upon your corpse, offering your dying point-of-view a close-up vision of their genital-region polygons. This practice, by analogy to the real-world equivalent, is called tea-bagging.

All this is to explain why the gaming sensation in Holly’s simile here is so familiar to me:

My friend was fucking his girlfriend doggy-style. I was underneath them, licking her pussy, and every few strokes he would pull out and I would suck his dick. As he thrusted away, with my tongue on the girl’s clit, my face was right under his balls, feeling them gently slap at me over and over and over again.

“How was that for you, baby?”

“…Kind of like getting killed in Halo.”