The Rise Of The Sex Bots
Somebody is really looking forward to the rise of the sex robots:
Sexbots will electrocute our flesh with climaxes thrice as gigantic because they’ll be more desirable, patient, eager, and altruistic than their meat-bag competition, plus they’ll be uploaded with supreme sex-skills from millennia of erotic manuals, archives and academic experiments, and their anatomy will feature sexplosive devices. Sexbots will heighten our ecstasy until we have shrieking, frothy, bug-eyed, amnesia-inducing orgasms. They’ll offer us quadruple-tongued cunnilingus, open-throat silky fellatio, deliriously gentle kissing, transcendent nipple tweaking, g-spot massage & prostate milking dexterity, plus 2,000 varieties of coital rhythm with scented lubes – this will all be ours when the Sexbots arrive.
Ahh, grasshopper, but will they also be self-cleaning? That is the question!
Mind you, I’m being a bit snarky there. The objection is not entirely serious. As I wrote most of ten years ago:
Men have mastered cleaning tasks of a far more intricate nature, and will even voluntarily indulge when the object of their cleaning affections is, say, a much-beloved rifle. Nor is it implausible that a truly decent technology for assisted orgasm would command every bit as much gadgeteering enthusiasm as gun guys lavish on the contents of their gun safes.
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Well, to make us feel loved, they’ll have to be programmed to be sexually assertive enough to initiate sexual activity on some sort of fairly regular basis.
I’m not so sure that I’m ready to be startled awake by my plastic fantastic lover at 3:45 a.m. sporting a giant, veiny, already-lubed, strap-on penis-shaped dildo with jackhammer, vibration, and rotating head capabilities informing me that I’m due for my semi-monthly prostate milking.
Calling in late for work that morning, it may be difficult to explain why I had to sleep in for a couple of hours.
I’m pretty sure I’m gonna want an off button on the damn thing. …well… pretty sure…
[…] we’re being honest, nerd culture’s fascination with sexbots and fembots and all manner of mostly-humanoid mechanical sex partners has an uncomfortable […]