I am old in internet years, and so I view the advice that follows as an updated sub-conversation that’s tied into the ancient “should you date or fuck people you meet on the Internet” discussion. There was time, youngsters, where sober non-net people thought it was insane to turn to the internet for any sort of romantic or sexual purposes; when I first met The Nymph online, her sisters tried to dissuade her from meeting me on the grounds that I was probably a serial killer who kept his internet victims in the basement in trash bags.

Be that as it may, times have changed, and everybody (except the catastrophically elderly and/or conservative) now understands that one or another internet community is a perfectly fine place to find love, sex, and companionship. So I view Girl On The Net’s recent Fuck your Twitter followers. Yes, literally post not as a continuation of that ancient conversation, but as her specific recommendation of the Twitter community in particular — and especially of the smaller community each of us builds on that platform — as a place to find sexual partners. Here are two of her practical paragraphs on why she thinks so:

Why you should fuck your Twitter followers

They’re sexy, you like them, and you can see pretty swiftly whether you’ll be a reasonable match. On a dating site like Tinder you get hardly any information about the person you’ll be seeing: a line about them, maybe. Their age. What their face looks like. It’s not exactly their life story, is it? But on Twitter you get all that plus their political opinions, photos of their latest day out, an idea of the kind of gifs they find funny, that kind of thing. It is no wonder so many of us develop Twitter crushes.

On top of all this, you may also get the most important information of all: whether they want a fuck, and whether they want to fuck you. Twitter flirting — via likes, RTs, DMs or in the most obvious cases replying to a tweet about sex with Twitter followers with ‘I volunteer as tribute’ (thanks to the people who did this, I have shamelessly used your joke in this post).

There’s more, of course.

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