Policing Her Man’s Porn
Dr. Marty Klein hears from a lot of women who are upset about their men watching porn. He’s got a lot of sensible stuff to say about that, of which this is the merest excerpt:
Some women seem to feel that there’s an implicit contract that their partner won’t watch porn, even though he never suggested such a thing. Therefore, they feel betrayed when he “breaks” the “contract.” That’s a mistake. You can dislike his porn-watching without deciding it’s a betrayal.
Some women seem to feel that because their partner watches porn they find disgusting or scary or confusing, they have a right to demand he stop watching it. A woman has no such right, any more than he has a right to patrol the TV, novels, or videos she watches. In an adult relationship, whatever objection she has to his porn shouldn’t carry more weight (or less weight) than his objection to her CSI or romance novels or cat videos.
Some women seem to believe their partner has “left” them for porn. No sane person does that. People do withdraw from sexual relationships for many reasons, often passively or without adequate discussion. That’s a legitimate thing to complain about. Criticizing a man’s porn watching as the “cause” of a couple’s poor or missing sex life is as cowardly as a man withdrawing sexually without explaining his dissatisfaction.
The Nymph sees porn on my screens all the time. She seems to prefer to think it’s always for work and business, which is anyway true 99% of the time, and 100% of the time that both of my hands are on the keyboard, which is usually what she sees. She also knows that I consider her yummier than any porn ever made, and any complaint (which is not her style anyway) would end with her being pursued away from the keyboard en déshabillé with her nipples in peril of a twisting.
Image at the top of the post comes from this ad for the Marvelous Movie Vuer, found here.
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Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=19006
Ideally we’ll find people we can share our kinky video/photo collections with, like we share our mainstream collections with. I think text can be an interesting entry point, each person’s imagination can flesh out the details, and reading dirty stories to each other can be Quite inspiring.
re: (From the original article)
“Why is it OK for you to hack into your boyfriend’s private stuff?”:
My girl is often saying that women should not be asking their men sexual questions that they know they’re not going to like the answers to. (Like we’re your ex’s breasts bigger than mine? Did your ex give better blow jobs than I do? Did you ever take your ex to this restaurant? Did your ex let you do anal? If I were to die tomorrow, which of my girlfriends would you ask out if you had to? Do you think that young waitress is prettier than me? Am I too old/fat to wear cutoffs or short-shorts in public?