I used to have a favorite online sex toy store, and one of the reasons it was my favorite was that they had a proactive affiliate manager who would send me stuff. But she doesn’t work there any more, and in the couple of years since she left, I’ve clearly fallen out of touch with developments in the dick-oriented sex toys world. In fact, the briefest of looks at the front page of MensToysHub.com makes it more than plain that there has been an enormous growth (heh) in the selection and assortment of toys designed for penis pleasure. Moreover, these toys have a lot more creativity and technology designed into them than last time I looked, too.

Let me be honest right up front: on that page there is a bit of sales copy some ErosBlog readers may find troubling. If, like me, you are somewhat behind the curve about developments in the penis-pleasuring category of toys, you’ll find plenty to interest you. But the sex toy discussions also include jokey comparisons that are disrespectful of women and sex workers. It seems to be a marketing strategy; perhaps one day I’ll get really drunk and do a post about the implications of that.

Moving rapidly along: but ooh, the sex toys!

The nineteen toys on the front page at MensToysHub are a varied bunch, but I was struck by how many of them have some sort of wireless connectivity (four or five) and/or integration with various combinations of interactive, online, virtual reality (VR), and/or point-of-view (POV) porn. (Two in particular: the Fleshlight Launch and the Kiiroo Onyx.) There are at least three “hands-free” masturbators; these upgrade that classic “pocket pussy” concept with mechanical systems that do the work for you. There are three or four more that, while not hands-free, combine vibrator technology (and, sometimes, remote communications for input from a partner who is across the room or on the other side of the country) with the traditional stimulus of the fleshlike hole for inserting your penis into.

Even in the “traditional” category of unpowered male masturbaters with no wires, motors, batteries, vibrations, or Bluetooth communications chips, the seven toys on the list are remarkably diverse and (to my old-fashioned eye at least) surprisingly modern. The most old-fashioned fleshy pocket on the list (one of the several Fleshlights, take your pick) would have been a category leader top-of-market toy last time I was seriously paying attention to this kind of toys; the only toy that resembles the downmarket jelly “pocket pussies” back then now looks like something that came out of an alien growth tank that makes brightly-colored bioengineered hand grenades.

Really, gentlemen, we’ve come a long way when it comes to new ways to spend money on ways to come!