Here’s a hoary old chestnut of a dirty joke about the loose sexual habits of army men:

A retired Army officer met his former orderly on the street one day and hired him for the same job the orderly had done for him so many years in the Army. He told him that he could start exactly like he used to, by waking him up every morning at seven.

The next morning, at seven sharp, the orderly strode into the retired officer’s bedroom, shook him into wakefulness, and then leaned over and spanked the officer’s wife on the backside, saying to her, “All right, baby, it’s back to town for you.”

Oops…

I found this in the August, 1974 issue of Stag magazine. But then, out of curiosity, I went searching for other sources. Have you ever wondered where the ancient jokes came from, the ones that used to be a feature of every popular magazine? It turns out there used to be an entire genre of joke books that compiled hoary old jokes, often marketed as being for “toastmasters” and people who needed to enliven their speeches. And magazine editors would just fuckin’ copy out jokes from their library of books full of stale anecdotes. I found versions of this joke in a 1950s collection called Stag Night Stories, as well as in the 1955 book The speechmaker’s complete handbook: a storehouse of colorful, point-making material and complete planning guide for public speakers and the 1967 collection The Modern Handbook of Humor. Who stole it first? We may never know.

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