Testing The Table
Long-time commenter and loyal ErosBlog reader JesusAutomatic left a comment a couple of years ago that’s honestly worthy of its own post on a sex blog. We might wish for more details, but some of the best storytelling is tightly written, and this certainly works:
I have been a furniture maker for years and I can attest that… the structural design loading limit for a good table is that it doesn’t wobble when you have rough sex on it. I remember a boardroom table I had just installed at the offices of a certain Quantity Surveyors in London. My girlfriend came along, to help move it into position, and to give it a good testing. I was very satisfied that there was no more than 6mm (1/4″) deflection under full load, but the French polish was just too slippery. Luckily we had some cargo straps.
I was going to remark that having fit-for-purpose bondage gear handy in a London boardroom when it’s time for table bondage shenanigans and the need “arises” is a mark of preparedness more than luck, and I do feel that way, but they were moving furniture, so.
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Thanks for the mention Bacchus.
Good furniture should always be designed to cover all possible uses, not just the most obvious one.
A couple of years ago I had a new girlfriend, who for all her adult life had thought that sex was something unpleasant you had to do with your husband. With a positive attitude and not much encouragement at all, it turns out she loves it. Enthusiastic, one might say.
Also around that time I was bedless(an ex wife etc), so I had to quickly knock up a bed from what I could find in the workshop.
It looked good and was comfortable
to sleep on. But my wild girl, with her insatiable enthusiasm climbed on top of me one afternoon, determined to make up for the wasted years. She rode me like a dervish and just couldn’t stop. By the time her second orgasm snuck up on her she was oblivious to the world and to the loud crack and the sudden collapse of the bed. When she came back to earth she was so embarrassed. But I was absolutely delighted. Not only with the amazing sex, but also that I’d found the weak point in the bed. The new one would be un-fucking-breakable.
Assuming that the straps were for tying the girlfriend down not giving her something to hold on to? One nice thing about stories that leave things to the imagination is that we can fill them in the way that excites us.
Jesusautomatic, thanks for the reminder that people who have a steady sex life don’t necessarily have good sex. And for all the heartbreak, financial / housing uncertainty, etc. which can come from relationships.