I’ve commented before (and not just once) on the lack of a good word or phrase for the sexual practice of getting off by rubbing a penis between two sufficiently-generous breasts. Tit job, breast sex, titty fucking, and various orthographies and variations of these, all have their flaws and ambiguities. Stalwart commenter and occasional email correspondent Vagans recently alerted me to a blog post and citations therein that suggest a new-to-me terminology: the phrase “muscle fuck” and its mysteriously elaborate cousin, “Hawaiian muscle-fuck.” Here I will turn you over to the redoubtable Strong Language blog, joining in progress its review of a venerable book about the word “fuck”:

Back when I was a teen, c. 1980, some friends and I were cruising the streets of Seaside Heights, New Jersey on an off-season night. With us was a friend-of-a-friend, someone I did not know. He got into a verbal altercation with some other teens we had met on the street, and afterward as we drove off, he leaned out of the car window and shouted, “How’d you like a Hawaiian muscle fuck?!”

Now, we had no idea what a Hawaiian muscle fuck was, and truth be told, I don’t think he did either. We dubbed him the “HMF Kid,” and the incident stuck with me long after I had forgotten his real name. Over the years I occasionally wondered what a Hawaiian muscle fuck was, but it wasn’t until I had a copy of Jesse Sheidlower’s The F-Word in my hands that I found out. There it was, in print, under the headword muscle fuck, noun:

an act of rubbing the penis between a woman’s breasts. […] 1992 Playboy (July) 37: Sex quiz … Been involved in breast fucking (a.k.a. the Hawaiian muscle fuck)?

There’s a use of muscle-fuck without the Hawaiian in this sense from 1974, so the HMF Kid didn’t coin the phrase. All that remains to discover is why is it Hawaiian? But I think that is a mystery lost to the ages.

Such is the utility of Sheidlower’s volume that it could solve a mystery dating back to my somewhat-misspent youth.

My intuition tells me that the answer to “why is it Hawaiian?” lies in the 20th century military history of Pearl Harbor and the related thriving prostitution districts of Honolulu. But I freely admit that I’m guessing.

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