In my opinion the Daily Beast is trying way too hard here to make news out of the notion that there’s money to be made in selling used panties. I wouldn’t actually click that link if I were you; it’s a 3.1MB website requiring 345 requests to load, and my Chrome never actually could finish loading all the banners and tracking crud in the time it took me to write this post. Save yourself the time and hassle by reading this handy summary of the points that I found novel and/or interesting:

  • Existing used-panty-selling websites saw a dramatic jump in business after the prison-panty-selling ring storyline was featured in the Orange Is The New Black Netflix show.
  • Here in the 21st century one poor used-panty-selling woman has actually been prosecuted under the Comstock Laws (still a thing!) for mailing “filthy” items through the mails. She plead guilty and got probation.
  • Kevin Fallon at the Daily Beast thinks Reddit is the “darker bowels” of the internet. Oh, honey, you need to get out more!

I’ll show you out with this paean to panty smells, delivered by the Piper character in Orange Is The New Black as she’s trying to convince female prison inmates to assist with her panty business:

“Sisters, we may be incarcerated, but our panties will travel the world. And in that way, long after we are gone, our smell will linger in some gas station in Toronto, in some office cubicle in Tokyo. And in that way, we are known. And in that way, we are remembered. Do you want to be remembered? Then sweat profusely, and fart with abandon, and make a reek, make a reek, my sisters, make a reek to last one thousand years!”

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