Hey, this sounds like good advice! “Never bite a married woman on the thigh.” But it goes to a dark place, faster than you would think:

Never bite a married woman on the thigh
‘Cause she just can’t rub it off, no matter how she’ll try.
And when she gets home at night, her man will ask her why
Then she’ll say it’s just a birthmark or some other silly lie.
But he’ll get suspicious and then he will start to pry.
Then she’ll get hysterical and she will start to cry.
And he’ll say, “I don’t blame you, but tell me who’s the guy?”
So she’ll admit to everything and he will say “bye-bye”.
And he’ll buy an airline ticket and he’ll fly across the sky.
And then he’ll come and find you and he’ll punch you in the eye.
Then he’ll rent a cheap hotel room and he’ll hang himself with his tie.
And when she gets the news, she’ll take an overdose of sleeping
Tablets and she’s gonna lie on the couch and die.
So never, never, never, never, never, never, never,
Bite a married woman on the thigh!

That’s by Shel Silverstein, who performs it as a sort of folk song here.

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