Explicitly blaming unspecified payment processors (which means Visa or Mastercard or their downstream agents), the fan/subscription platform Fansly (a large OnlyFans competitor that I don’t know much about) just banned furries “in adult contexts.” Specifically, according to 404 Media:

Fansly wrote:

“Anthropomorphic Content – Our payment processing partners classify some anthropomorphic content as simulated bestiality. As a general guideline, Kemonomimi (human-like characters with animal ears/tails) is permitted, but full fursonas, Kemono, and scalie content are prohibited in adult contexts.

Also hit by the recent pornocalypse ban-stick on Fansly were hypnosis and mind-control fetishists, catfight/wrestling enthusiasts, and public/outdoor/exhibitionist sex/nudity material.

Many Fansly users feel specifically betrayed by the promises they were made when they came to Fansly in the first place:

In 2021, OnlyFans announced that it would ban “sexually-explicit conduct” from the site, citing payment processor pressure. It reversed the decision days later, after widespread public backlash. Fansly said at the time that it was receiving “4,000 applications an hour” from creators looking to move to the site in the days after OnlyFans said it was banning sexually-explicit content.

“Thank you, we won’t let you down,” Fansly wrote on Twitter.

I’m sure that promise was sincerely meant at the time. But the pornocalypse comes for us all.

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Prince Charming is a slow boy, apparently, because he’s fumbling with her foot when so much joy awaits just inches away behind a mere wisp of her underthings that she couldn’t be displaying more blatantly:

I don’t have a source for this Cinderella meme. Update: Thanks to J in the comments, now we know the artist (not the meme creator) is Steven Stahlberg, who has a Patreon. There is also a bare-pussy version of the artwork out there, but I can’t tell if it’s the artist’s work or a fan/machine edit.

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It’s been a little while since I looked at the current shoots being produced for the Everything Butt channel at Kink.com and honestly? I had forgotten just how anally ambitious they tend to be:

Photo is from the recent Ass Service shoot starring Lauren Phillips and Victoria Voxxx.

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Right after Father’s Day, TikTok was completely abuzz with this 11-second video (backup link) of professional pretty person Ella asking “And how dare I forget to say happy father’s day to the man that I put into Plow Pose and then {handjob gesture} cranked his kids right into his own mouth? Happy Father’s Day, babe!”

At the time of writing the video has two million views, more than 15k comments, has been shared and forwarded more than 300k times, and there are innumerable stitches and reaction videos. I guess I’d say the reactions are generally positive, but tinged with a lot of flabbergast from men and women alike. Motherless behavior, fatherless behavior, too much dommy-mommy, not enough dommy-mommy, where do we sign up, girl you’re making the rest of us look bad… people are super engaged.

You might, like I was at first, mostly just be confused. What is “plough pose”? The yoga girlies and gym people all know, but middle aged fat men like me had to look it up, or guess from the context:

There’s really nothing all that scandalous about a woman with a dominant vibe talking for eleven seconds about giving her man a handjob with the suggestion of making him eat his own cum, which itself is a not-very-uncommon fetish. (I understand that a lot of young men come by it honestly, if you’ll forgive the phrasing, from “eating the evidence” of their adolescent wankery.) So what is it about this innocent clip that made it go so apeshit viral? Speculate in the comments, if you like!

I did think that as a proper reader service I ought to do a minimal Rule 34 search for “Yoga Plow Position Femdom Forced Cum Eating”. You’ve all listened to me bitch about how Google has faded and no longer serves good search results for porn; well, this is precisely what I mean:

However, I did a bit better on Yandex, which is still willing to remember and admit that filthy femdom porn is out there:

It’s from a nameless clip on a nameless pirate tube and the yoga won’t win any yoga awards, but it’s enough to satisfy the rule: there is indeed porn of it.

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Charles Engle was talking with his gay roommate about the comparative hedonic experience of single straight men versus single gay men in New York City, and the video went somewhere pretty funny:

Transcript:

One time, my gay roommate asked me, he goes, “Who do you think has more fun in New York? Like single straight people or single gay people?”

And I was like, “I don’t know. I’ve had a girlfriend the whole time I’ve been in New York.”

And he goes, “Okay, but when you were single, how many blowjobs did you get a day?”

And I was like, “You guys have more fun. You’re telling me you measure your BJs in days? You get blown the amount of times you’re supposed to brush your teeth?”

And he was like, “Yeah, on Grinder, I get like two a day.”

And I was like, “Is there, like, reverse conversion therapy? Cause I would like to enroll! Like, you know when you put something to Google Translate and it’s like Spanish to English? English to Spanish, that little flip button? Fucking sign me up! Cause if I was getting two a day, I would not complain about anything in my life.

So we started dating. And, um… I’ve truly never been happier.

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Does this daisy chain foursome also qualify as a spontaneous outdoor orgy?

If you choose to believe the Dutch marketing copy in Chick #241, perhaps! Bearing in mind that believing the marketing copy in a porn magazine is always a willful choice to suspend disbelief, the machine translation reads like this:

Spontaneous sex! Just in the middle of a meadow, two men and two women are busy satisfying each other with mouth and fingers. Thanks to their clever position, everyone gets his/her needs met. For especially for the sucking lady above, it can be seen that it gives them a lot of pleasure; she clearly enjoys it and knows that she is at this moment being photographed…

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Road head isn’t safe, unless you pull over and get out first:

Photo is from Pascha No. 3, and some sources say the woman on her knees is 70s pornstar Jane Iwanoff.

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