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October 16th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Extremely Flexible Redhead

The woman so flexible she can (and will!) cross her ankles behind her head for you during sex is something of a mythic creature, like a unicorn or a winged horse. Men talk about her, none of us would kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but nobody (in my circles anyway) has ever actually met her and had sex with her. I did once have a girlfriend who claimed to be “flexible, innovative, and curious” (which she was) but she was not that flexible, nor (it turned out) was she as loyal as I was committed. Oh, well, so it goes.

Moving rapidly along, here is today’s reminder that unicorns, Pegasi, and flexi-girls are real:

naked redhead with her ankles crossed behind her head

I don’t know the flexible model’s name but she shot this for Naughty America.

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October 15th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Enshittification Of A Restroom Near You

Enshittification does not usually involve actual shit; nor does it here. But the scenario invoked by this meme (a public restroom that revokes the opacity of its stall walls as a unilateral “privacy policy” update) would be the very quintessence of enshittification:

a public restroom with clear glass walls displaying a message about an updated privacy policy

I researched this viral image (with and without the meme caption) but was unable to locate an original source; it has been very widely distributed. However, Reddit is full of Internet Smartguys™ who will assure you that this is a real restroom outfitted with smart glass that can be made opaque by stall users. I don’t know if that is true. Internet Smartguys™ frequently volunteer as unpaid defense lawyers for all kinds of nonsense. It seems like a lot of extra expense for no obvious reason that I can discern. But conspicuous consumption happens, so.

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October 14th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Reading And Upskirt Peeping

It’s fun to read together with your lover on a sunny afternoon, especially if she wears a short skirt and lets you get away with surreptitious upskirt peepings:

upskirt peeping his girlfriend while she reads a book in a sunny window

These are said to be A. J. Applegate and Jordan Ash in a Brazzers scene (that I don’t have a link for) titled Filthy Fuck Part One.

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October 13th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

In Praise Of Sex Monsters

Little Paws has a message she’d like you to hear:

Transcript:

This is just a reminder that you could be a loyal, good-hearted, and genuine person, but also a dirty, horny little sex monster! They’re not mutually exclusive…

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October 12th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Why Men Dislike That Sinking-Boat Movie

Joey W. Hill’s paranormal erotic romance In The Company Of Witches has a light moment that may explain some of the gender discrepancy among fans of the movie Titanic:

She pressed a smile against his muscular biceps, caressed his forearm. The man was built like a brick house. No wonder Ruby had been intoxicated by him. For some reason, she wasn’t pleased with that thought, so she pushed it away to notice he was looking at her TV table. He dropped his head to the pillow behind her, puffed a breath on her neck that sent a shiver down her spine. Almost… playful.

“Titanic,” he said. “Is there any female who doesn’t like that movie?”

She tilted her head to look at him. She had a desire to caress his jaw, but she quelled it. “Only the ones without estrogen. Is there any male who doesn’t hate it? And why is that, by the way?”

“It’s a chick flick on steroids.” He made a pained expression. “A male watches a ninety-minute romance with a woman because he anticipates sex as payment for his attention. Ninety minutes is a fair exchange. A three-hour movie, with a tragic ending that leaves the woman sobbing, needing consolation, not sexual pleasure? That’s above and beyond the call of duty. He has to be flat-on-his-ass in love with her to put up with that shit.”

She elbowed him in the gut, wasn’t at all surprised when he caught it before it could make contact. Wrapping his arms closer around her, he nuzzled her neck…

No need to “not all men” us in the comments; what we have here is a gross generalization for comic effect. There are plenty of men who aren’t so transactional. But it’s hardly uncommon for a man to watch a movie he’s not interested in with a woman he absolutely is interested in, because the viewing offers an opportunity to enjoy closeness and companionship with her. Although the aphrodisiacal effects of closeness and companionship are known, it does not necessarily follow that men can’t value these for their own sake, or in combination with some hoped-for hanky-panky.

Bonus link: Titanic The Way It Should Have Been

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October 11th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Tittyfucks Are The Engine Of Commerce

Breast sex, aka the fun kind of tit jobs, aka tit fucking, is at the core of the modern economy, and I can prove it:

It’s true: you can’t spell “adverTIsemenTS” without “semen” between the “tits”!

Many hundreds of people have had fun making short videos to share this sentiment, but this one is by Feline Fumbles, using audio from the original by voice actor Isaakwells.

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October 10th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Seeing Camgirls Everywhere

I can’t say whether my changing social media habits are responsible for today’s observation, or whether it’s more about changes in the online scene. Either way, in the last year I’ve become aware of (or “met”, in a parasocial way) more online sexy-ladies than I probably did in the previous half-decade. I’m not only talking about the subscription-based erotic personalities on OnlyFans and similar sites, but also the camgirls who work through sex cam sites like Rabbits Cams and the e-girls who promote themselves and their paid-influencer personas on porn-hostile platforms as diverse as Instagram, YouTube, and Twitch.

novice onlyfans performer gets dubious help making a sex tape

My personal discovery of the joys of TikTok coincides with my surprise at learning that all these adult performers have, essentially, found a way to beat the pornocalypse. It’s not so much that they found one weird trick to fight the algorithmic censors. No, my impression is that they’ve become fluent in non-explicit seduction and ways of communicating the destination of their proverbial “link in bio” without actually having a (probably-prohibited) actual link in their actual bio.

blue haired cam bunny with big tits prepares to give a blowjob

From what I can tell by fascinated observation, these seductive social-media entrepreneurs first make themselves attractive and then, when they’ve got a firm grip on the erotic imagination of their male viewers, they deploy a fluid mix of euphemisms and suggestive hints to help viewers understand which camsite or subscription platform to check for their more explicit content.

bathroom mirror boob selfies with a digital camera

There are a thousand strategies for being commercially seductive without being explicit. My favorite, which appears in dozens of variations, is something I’ve dubbed the “patriarchy-bait” strategy. A pretty woman will appear, fully and casually dressed, and she’ll say something like:

Ladies, you want to keep your man happy? When he leaves for work in the morning, he should have a full lunchbox, a hot breakfast in his belly, an empty sack, and a smile on his face. Every day! It’s not that hard…

There’s really nothing for a pornocalypse algorithm to seize on. The “empty sack” is of course a reference to drained balls, and implies wakeup-sex every morning, or a blowjob; but it’s generic enough (with many possible circumlocutions) to fly under the pornocalypse radar. And it’s sweet bait for sexually-unsatisfied men, who think “Yeah, I like this girl, even if she is too good to be true” and follow her.

Playboy Club bunny posing

So that’s one way a TikTok “accountant” (euphemism for sex worker) or “mattress actress” (which implies being a porn performer or camgirl) can set her horniness hook, as it were. But then how does she reel in the customer to her subscription or cams platform of choice? More euphemisms! In a different video, she might say with a wink “I only have fans, no air conditioning.” She might just say “look for me in the usual places.” She might mention being a “corn star” and say words that rhyme with the name of the site she’s on. Again there are a thousand ways, all of which rely heavily on euphemism, something very similar to the old Cockney rhyming slang, winks, verbal nudges, and salacious hand gestures. It’s very much a finely-honed art form, and I am not an artist in that medium.

bunny ears at a porn shoot

In my original 2013 post on surviving the pornocalypse, I wrote that thriving on porn-hostile social media platforms was a matter of being pushy on a diverse array of platforms and then staying agile in the face of the inevitable backlashes and bans. I wasn’t wrong, but I sure didn’t envision the amazing deftness and skill that clever adult performers would evolve!

Image credits, top to bottom: The curvy innocent with rabbit ears who is getting dubious help making a sex tape for her “OnlyStans” account is by PonehAnon. The blue-haired babe with big tits and bunny ears preparing to make some blowjob content for her channel is by Kisou. The bunny taking mirror selfies of her ample breasts is by Eltonel. The woman posing for pics under her ring light in the full Playboy Club bunny-waitress outfit is by cela/akeeeeee675. The jizzed-upon woman shooting porn in her bunny ears, stripper cuffs, and fishnet gloves is by Player1.

rabbits cams banner 512x30

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