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ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
May 19th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Food And Sex, Sugar And Vaginas

I am emphatically not an expert on vaginal sexual health. But I am somewhat well-read, and I’ve been sex blogging for a couple of minutes now. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that the common sexual practice of putting sweet food on one’s partner and then licking/eating it off again has certain associated risks. Sugar feeds yeast, and in some pussies, that leads to problems. I lack the plumbing to know precisely how bad that can get, but any man who’s ever had jock itch ought to have at least one foot firmly on the path of empathy here.

Mind you, sexual risk doesn’t often stop people. People take sexual risks all the time. We’ve all of us had time to grow up, mature, and move on from “safe sex” to “risk aware sexual practice”. People are still out there merrily spreading and licking, risk bedamned. Jawbreakers, maple syrup, chocolate syrup, honey, lollypops, candy canes, whipped cream, pudding. If it’ll “melt in your mouth” it’ll melt somewhere else warm and wet, I promise. People are very creative with their sticky food sex.

At some point in the development of our collective consciousness around the risks of putting sugar inside of pussies, there arose a brigade of people on the internet, mostly women, who took it upon themselves to spread the “don’t put food in vaginas” gospel. And they were utterly deaf to context. If they saw an account or an image of food within six inches of a vaginal opening, they would appear in the comments to demand “Don’t do this! Never get sweet stuff near a hoo-haw! You’ll get a yeast infection!” Fact or fiction or fantasy, it didn’t matter, there they were. Already a disclaimer on the post? It didn’t matter. Risk information included? Didn’t matter. “Don’t do this!” Dogmatism in the guise of sex education. Making other people’s risk decisions for them, and shouting about it. “Just don’t do this!”

What I don’t know is whether the dogmatic sugar-free pussy brigades were a temporary and transitory phenomenon that rose up and subsequently ebbed as the overall state of sexual health knowledge improved, or whether they are still out there, waiting for chances to shout at people whose profile of acceptable sexual risk doesn’t match their own. Perhaps we’ll find out, because whether they like it or not, I’m gonna share this fantasy/fictional account of two people having a lot of fun with a decadent chocolate dessert:

Ross grabbed their plates and took them to the sink, returning a moment later with dessert. A perfect dome of chocolate with a glistening glaze, it was topped with a sliver of gold leaf. It was a work of art.

“Chocolate and cherry entremet,” Ross announced, his voice husky, as he put a plate down in front of her.

Instead of taking his seat as she expected him to, he leaned against the table and stared down at her. Color flooded to her cheeks as his eyes seemed to bore into her soul. Trying to ignore the passion in his gaze, she took a spoonful of the rich chocolate mousse cake. It was layered with a sweet kirsch jelly and a tart cherry compote. The flavor was so intense, she practically orgasmed on the spot. She peeked up at Ross who was still watching her intently, a wry grin on his lips.

“Aren’t you going to try some?” she asked.

“Aye, but not like that.”

Before she could ask what he meant, Ross pulled her up out of her seat. His hands slid down her sides so he could grasp the hem of her dress and lift it up over her head. As he’d provided her with no underwear, she was left completely naked. She’d been exposed to him before, but this time she felt self-conscious somehow. She moved her hands to cover herself, but Ross stopped her.

“Never hide yourself from me.”

His commanding tone sparked a new level of arousal in her. She felt the wetness pool between her legs. She gasped as Ross lifted her and deposited her on the table, her legs dangling over the edge.

“Lie back.” His order could never be mistaken for a request, so she did as she was told. “Arms over your head and keep them there.”

She raised her arms above her and rested them flat on the table. The position forced her breasts up. Ross blew out a breath.

“You’re beautiful.”

Blushing deeply, she shook her head in denial.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“But I do mean it,” he insisted. “You’re perfect for me.”

She’d never been comfortable with her too-skinny body but as Ross looked down at her with blatant appreciation she felt like a goddess.

“You are not to move,” Ross told her, “understand?”

“Yes, Ross.”

He swatted her thigh, hard, and she yelped in surprise.

“Not what I want to hear, sweetheart.”

He exuded a desire to dominate. Lisa could see it in his face, hear it in his voice. This was a man used to women obeying his every command. She could play along with that. A little show of submission was bound to reap rewards.

“Yes, sir,” she said, biting her bottom lip in a coy gesture that felt entirely alien.

“Good girl.” Ross seemed happy enough with her effort to please him. “Now, let’s have dessert, shall we?”

Ross loved the way Lisa’s body quivered in anticipation as she waited for him to make his move. He was in no hurry. Seeing her laid out like this, offering herself to him made his cock painfully hard, but he intended to take his time and enjoy every inch of her delectable body. She was stunning with those deep brown eyes and long, dark hair. He doubted she knew how wild she could drive a man with those perfect pouting red lips. She didn’t carry herself like a woman confident in her appearance and he wished he could throttle whoever first made her doubt her beauty.

Looking the very picture of innocence, she sank her teeth into her bottom lip and blinked up at him. It was an awkward attempt at coyness. She was playing a part, giving him what she thought he wanted rather than genuinely submitting. He didn’t care.

He dipped his fingers into the chocolate dessert and licked them clean. The expression of sheer bliss on Lisa’s face when she tried it made sense to him now. He wasn’t much for sweet treats, but this was heaven on a plate.

“Nice,” he remarked, understating the pleasure he’d derived from the chocolate, “but it could be better.”

Holding Lisa’s gaze, Ross spread her legs wide and pushed back so she bent them at her knees. He placed her heels flat on the table and shot her a warning look to keep them there. She gave a slight nod to confirm she would obey.

A grin formed on his lips as his gaze drifted to her glistening pink pussy. Taking a handful of the chocolate mousse, he slathered it over her succulent flesh, enjoying the way her mouth fell open in surprise. He watched her as she got used to the feeling of the chilled dessert on her warm flesh and then bent his head for a taste. Lisa shuddered beneath him as he swiped his tongue along her feminine slit. The heady mix of rich chocolate and the sweet nectar that had pooled between her legs was intoxicating.

As he reached over to scoop up more of the chocolate dessert, Ross swirled his tongue around her swollen clitoris and was rewarded with a high-pitched moan. He almost came in his pants. What was it about this woman that tested the limits of his control?

He wrapped his lips around the throbbing bud between her legs and sucked lightly. Lisa wriggled her hips and he put a hand on her abdomen to hold her still. She whimpered, needing more. She wanted him rougher than this, but he didn’t care. For once in his life, he was going to be gentle. She needed to see this side of him.

As his tongue slipped inside Lisa’s quivering body he slid his hand up to smear chocolate over her taut nipples. He cupped her breast and caressed the soft skin that covered it. Watching her closely, he reveled in the way her face contorted with pleasure.

“Oh, my god, Ross!”

She sounded almost in awe of him. He caressed her breast with his thumb and lapped at her hot, wet pussy with increasingly firm strokes. Her legs shook and her bottom lifted up off the table but still he held himself back. Her heavy breathing told him she was close. Wanting to keep her on edge, he pulled back. Lisa whined in frustration.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he soothed her. “When you come, it’ll be on my cock.”

Bending over her trembling body, he slowly licked the chocolate from her nipples. He ran his tongue around one rosy tip and then the other, teasing her with the lightness of his touch. She arched her back, thrusting her breasts toward him in obvious desperation. She was greedy, demanding to feel his mouth, his hands on her. Ross’s cock throbbed in response to her eagerness.

Watching her carefully, he drew back and unfastened his pants to free his raging erection. Lisa was breathing hard now. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes clouded with desire.

“You want my cock, sweetheart?”

“Yes.”

“Then beg for it.”

This kinky dessert seduction is from a series about dominant werewolves and women who (eventually) love them. Specifically, it’s from Marked By the Wolf, by Sassa Daniels.

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May 17th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Abducting Five Women

The pulpy men’s magazines of the 1950s and 1960s were full of lurid nonsense; it is perhaps the entirety of their charm. No more stellar example exists than the December 1960 issue of True Adventures, which included this dramatic illustration with a story entitled I Saw The Slave Girl Market:

harem story in mens magazine

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May 15th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

The Joy Of Nimble Fingers

 
May 14th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

A Glistening Frenzy Of Toplessness

This artwork by Barry Waldman was an interior illustration in the December 1958 issue of Real Men magazine, for the story “We Stalked The Ghost That Fed On Human Flesh!”

topless dancer in a 1950s pulp mens magazine

The caption narrates the topless dancing thusly: “As the sacrificial pig was lifted, a beautiful young woman… writhed in glistening frenzy!”

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May 13th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Dalton Doesn’t Mind

 
May 12th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Threesome With Two Nuns

I swear, back in the day people were a lot more invested in the whole idea of debauching nuns.

one man and two nuns having a threesome

two nuns having group sex with a man

This three-way with two nuns is from Rodox Special Selection #10.

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May 10th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Number One, Again

It matters a whole lot less than it used to, because who searches for “sex blog” in 2024? But a long time ago, being at the top of Google for that phrase brought in enough traffic to fund my rather-less-modest-than-it-has-subsequently-become lifestyle. Affiliate money was easy money, search traffic was king, and top search results for popular phrases were a guarantee of traffic and income.

It’s been more than fifteen years since any of those things were true. Moreover, for most of the last two decades, Google search has prioritized lifestyle columnists and sexual wellness/health sites (which is to say, people selling sex toys in a soft-pitch deniable way) in sex blog searches over any of the sex blogs like mine (or Girl On The Net’s, for example) that publish actual content intended to arouse. You know, porn.

That’s why I don’t much care any more if ErosBlog ranks well in a pornocalypse search engine. It doesn’t matter financially the way it did in, say, 2003. Nor is it any longer much of a competitive feel-good prize, now that sex blogging has outlasted its cultural moment. The only sex bloggers left are stubborn diehards like me. Why we still do it is a complex question with diverse complex answers, but “for bragging rights with each other about our Google search placement” isn’t even close to being on the list.

All of which is to say that that I haven’t seen a sight like this in a very long time:

erosblog at the stop of the search engine results for sex blog

I know what changed, too. A 22-year-old site is guaranteed to have a lot of technical debt, especially when operated by a tech-numbskull like myself. I freely confess dragging my feet for way too long about upgrading to secure browsing. For a long time, certificates were expensive and fixing big volumes of legacy content was a complex problem. Then, eventually, certificates became free (although still dangerously centralized) and WordPress plugins solved most of the legacy-content problems (old posts prone to breakage). But the biggest problem with technical debt is never the technology, it’s always the stubborn old butthead in charge of the site who balks at the necessary investment to fix it. Especially when the investment is mostly his own time and energy. It’s me. I’m the butthead.

Google has, of course, been downgrading insecure sites in the search results for years. See above for why I didn’t care very much. Over time, browser software, including Google’s, has also gotten more aggressive about warning surfers to stay away from insecure sites, with frighteners like scary colors, harsh symbols, and stern warnings.

A few days ago, I finally got my https:// shit together here on ErosBlog. Sure enough, traffic is up about 40% (albeit from a low base). Moreover, as the above screenshot reflects, I’ve got my #1 search position back for “sex blog”. Should have done it years ago, of course. But at least it’s done now. Onward!

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