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April 12th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

Eating Cake, And Her

In Pack Rivals: Part Two by Hanna Haze, our man Nate brought Bea an apology cake. She took it as an opportunity for some serious flirting, which had the consequences you would expect when an omega teases an alpha in an Omegaverse novel:

I reach into the box, scoop a massive piece of frosting into my hand and throw it right at his face.

It smacks him on the nose.

For a long second we both stare at each other, icing dripping off his face. Then I dive for the box as he does the same, our hands scrabbling inside as we both fight to grab more cake.

I pull my hand out first, taking my opportunity at his closeness to slam a handful of cake in his face. He swears and then tries to do the same to me.

I yelp and attempt to dodge away but he grabs my arm and smears cake all over my face.

I blink away icing and lick at my lips, unable to help but laugh hard.

He grins at me. “You have a bit of cake on your face, little bird.”

“Really, where?” I ask innocently.

He drags me closer and then he’s kissing me, sponge and frosting melting into our mouths as his hot lips claim mine. My breath halts in my chest and then I melt into him.

His hand slides around to cup the back of my neck, smearing cake into my hair, and he pulls me in closer as his other hand comes to claim my waist.

I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t let him rock up with a cake and think he can kiss me. He hurt me. They all used me.

But right now, while he’s kissing me, I find it really damn hard to remember why I was mad with him in the first place.

I’m too busy feeling.

He nibbles at my lips and then his mouth strays lower, along my jaw and down to my throat, nipping all the way.

“Hmmm, this cake tastes pretty good.” He licks all the way up my neck, making me shudder. “Or maybe it’s just you, little bird.”

“Just because you made me a cake, doesn’t mean I forgive you,” I whimper, as the hand at my waist finds the tie of my gown.

“Let me give you something else to show you how sorry I am then.” he says.

“Wh-wh-wh-what?” I whisper, as his hand slips under my gown and against my skin. His touch feels heavenly. It feels like an eternity since anyone touched me and my body rings like a bell.

He pulls back and gives me one of those wicked grins I know means trouble.

I should definitely stop things now. I should definitely send him on his way. I should definitely not lean into his touch as his hand slides over my ribs and cups my breast, squeezing ever so gently. Far more gently than I’d expect of a man like Nate. He flicks his calloused thumb over my nipple and then he lifts me up onto the counter and rolls me down flat.

God, I’ve been imagining this ever since I met these alphas.

I’ve done a really efficient job of resisting them, of resisting all the things they could do to me, resisting all the things I could do to them. But oh jeez has it been hard! And as his mouth comes down to kiss my nipple and suck it up into his mouth, I realize I want to stop resisting for just one moment. For just once.

“I’m going home,” I whisper to him. “Back to Naw Creek.” He pauses, his dark eyes connecting with mine. “I’m telling you because I don’t want to use you, Nate. If you want to stop …”

He holds my gaze, his eyes swirling, not with their usual mischief but with something like a plea.

I’m not sure what he’s pleading for. Permission? Forgiveness? For me to stay?

My heart pounds in my ears and my stomach swoops with anticipation. I want him to keep touching me. I want him to keep kissing me. I don’t want him to stop.

“Whether you stay or fly away, little bird, I want to show you just how damn sorry I am.”

He trails a line of reverent kisses down my body, lower and lower until he reaches the apex of my legs. He nudges them apart and then he falls to his knees.

“Where I should always be when in your presence, little bird.”

In my next panted breath, his mouth is right where I need it, right where I’ve wanted it for weeks and weeks.

Karl never liked to do this. Karl was never good at it. Karl would rather crawl through broken glass than get down on his knees for me. And yet here this alpha is doing just that.

I’ve always wondered if being eaten out is as amazing as other girls make out.

When Nate’s tongue hits my clit, I know instantly that it is. Oh my lord it is.

I stuff my own fist in my mouth to stop from crying out as agonizingly slowly he swirls the tip of his wet tongue around my sensitive nub, my toes curling in pleasure, and the pulse between my legs hammering like crazy.

“So fucking delicious,” he groans, the sound vibrating all the way to my core as he slides his tongue through my folds towards my hole and then back to my clit. He continues this steady stroke, around and around my clit, then down to my hole.

My skin tingles, the nerves in my body are electric and alive, and every sweep of his tongue heavenly torture.

My fingers tangle in his hair and I can’t help tugging it, willing him to go harder, to give me more.

He growls, deep and low and I almost come into his mouth right then and there.

“Need more,” I pant.

“Going to give you more, little bird, but I want to make you sing for me first.” I curse at him but he only repeats his growls and continues those delicious sweeps of his tongue.

When the tears start to spill down my cheeks, he finally gives me more. His tongue moving more quickly, flicking against my clit and making me buck, my hips lifting from the counter.

“Yes, baby, thrust your sweet smelling pussy into my mouth. I could eat you out all fucking night and every single day.”

I whimper and he kisses my cunt – properly French kisses it – sucking me up into his mouth, and making my legs shake around his head.

“Oh God!” I mutter, my fist falling from my mouth as I suck in air, dizzy with the sensations he’s driving through my body. “Oh God! Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“Just like that little bird, just like that.”

He pecks at my clit and the cool metal of his lip ring hits against it.

I scream out.

“Like that?” he asks.

“Hmmmm,” I moan. And he does it again, knocking the metal against me over and over and over again until I lose all sense of time and place, the sensations buzzing through my body, harder and harder, until I can’t breathe, I can’t see, I can’t hear, all I can do is feel.

I come, ecstasy crashing through my wrecked body, tears swimming down my cheeks, my body jolting and bolting with each glorious wave of pleasure, until I collapse down, washed up and wrecked and tingling all over.

He continues to lap between my legs, purring into my folds, bringing me down slowly to Earth.

Now that, I think we could all agree, is a handsome apology!

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April 10th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

Uncomfortable Bear Rug

Party Bear would like to know: is there any polite way to uninvite yourself from the event after a messy orgy has broken out?

polar bear taxidermy rug wants out of the orgy party

bear rug wants to escape the group sex swingers

orgy bear wants out!

He is a very hospitable bear but his eyes are screaming “Get me out of here!”

Photos are from Color Climax 100 (January 1979).

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April 8th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

When The Cat Is Too Fresh

Sedona Violet is talking from a lesbian perspective here, but I don’t find a word to disagree with. Her flabbers are ghasted at the notion that pussy, or coochie as she calls it, must be shower-fresh to be palatable. She says “unflavored cat is diabolical” and I am inclined to agree:

Here’s what she has to say about it:

Someone made a video talking about how people have a problem eating “walked-in coochie”… you know, coochie that’s had time to marinate in its own juices. And all I have to say to that is: do you bitches not season your food?

Because what do you mean, you only eat freshly washed cat? Sans salt? Sans flavor? Sans taste?

The fuck?

It’s not even just that it doesn’t taste like anything. It tastes like soap! Is that really what you wanna be eating? You want soapy cooter-cat in your mouth?

When it’s that fresh, it takes at least a round or two to get a little bit of flavor going in that bitch. And what do you do then? Stop and clean it up? Do you make her take another shower? Because, ooh, I can taste you now?

I don’t think y’all are gay enough for me!

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April 7th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

Fire One!

A few weeks back I heard this joke circulating that I meant to share on here, but I kept forgetting. The joke contains a reference to an actual naval action that happened on the 4th of March:

A US submarine sank an Iranian warship in the middle of the Indian Ocean, by firing a torpedo. That hadn’t happened since 1945.

Apparently a torpedo is the only kind of pedo the US will fire…

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April 6th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

Anilingus, Analingus, Dog Latin Is Killing Us

Yesterday’s ass-eating video clip led naturally, as these things do, to back-channel conversations about the nomenclature around what the dictionary people delicately call “erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus.”

analingus dictionary definition from Miriam Webster screenshot

The Wikipedia article on this sexual practice is under anilingus, where it is explained to be a sort of portmanteau of the Latin anus and -lingus, from lingere (to lick). However in English the spelling has morphed until it is more often seen as analingus than anilingus. Thus the Wikipedia editors, though not yet Miriam Webster, accept both spellings.

If dog Latin wasn’t fun, schoolboys and cunning armchair linguists wouldn’t have done so much of it since the empire fell. But what does all of this have to do with rimming and salad tossing? Here I shall let The Contemporary Dictionary of Sexual Euphemisms by Jordan Tate take up the taxonomical tale, even if (having been published in 2007) it no longer feels so very contemporary:

A derivation of eating out, tossing salad is a derogatory term aimed at emasculating homosexual men, by implying that because of their sexual orientation, they are inherently less masculine. When this euphemism was popularized, it only described the act of a man performing analingus on another man. The propagation of the term stemmed from the results of mixing various greens and dressing to achieve an even coating on each leaf. It was assumed that this type of care and precision was taken to coat the anus in saliva and prepare the anus for anal intercourse. It is this logical leap that hindered the initial popularity of tossing salad and why its origin still remains a mystery to so many. Tossing salad soon came to describe any sessions of analingus where the tongue penetrates the sphincter (thereby differentiating it from a “rim job”) regardless of intentions of anal intercourse.

And that, I think, is as much as most of us will ever need to know about the various terms for eating ass.

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April 5th, 2026 -- by Bacchus

A Salad With Mickey Mouse

This little clip from Murad Shawki’s standup comedy routine describes the first time he got his ass eaten, and the involuntary Mickey Mouse noises he ended up making:

At least he’s a good sport!

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April 3rd, 2026 -- by Bacchus

He Is Coming

Did he meet up by random chance with a familiar suck-buddy while separated from his girlfriend during their regular Saturday morning run? Or is this the kind of man who had the audacity to arrange a quickie under the bridge, knowing his girlfriend would be nearby but gambling on not getting caught?

man gets a blowjob under a bridge while a woman standing above calls for him

Cartoon is by Adler.

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