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December 14th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Moment Of Joy #1

Today’s moment of joy:

The most joyous thing I’ve seen today is the virginal young heroine of a BDSM romance, whose submissive tendencies are as yet unrealized in this early part of the narrative, complaining to a man who just happens to be part owner of a BDSM club: “You’re so bossy.”

Oh, honey, fasten your seatbelt, because you are about to go on a JOURNEY…

Context: Over on Mastodon I’ve been doing an occasional microfeature where I describe a moment of joy from my reading or recreational social media interactions. I’ve decided to reproduce some of those over here as short blog posts, because why not? However, because a blog is different from social media, please allow me a couple of disclaimers. First of all, when I say “the most joyous thing I’ve seen today” the word “today” refers to the appearance of the Mastodon post, not the ErosBlog mirror of it, which may be scheduled to appear later. And unlike my usual practice, these moments usually don’t come with specific provenance.

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December 13th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Resourceful And Lucky Tunneller

lucking prisoner finds out the other end of his escape tunnel is in a cell full of horny women

The prisoner who attempts to tunnel out of jail and winds up digging his way into the adjacent women’s prison by mistake has been a stock figure in light humorous cartoonery for at least 75 years. This exemplar of the genre from the January 1957 issue of After Hours magazine illustrated an utterly forgettable and gratuitously rape-y bit of light verse about just such a prisoner.

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December 11th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Tinker Bell, Pollinator

Did you know that Tinker Bell was a pollinator? Because I did not. I should have known, because most small colorful flying things are. But it hadn’t occurred to me:

tinkerbelle cute nude blonde fairy fucking a flower

Artwork is by RatedEHC.

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December 9th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Load Up! Couples Humor In The TikTok Age

There’s a joke making the rounds on social media just now. I won’t call it misogynistic, although you might. It references the “women in the kitchen” patriarchal gender role stereotype for sure, but it’s self-referentially ironic: the teller knows he’s acting like a caveman, and usually he’s inviting or accepting performative backlash from the woman at the butt of the joke as part of the humor. Short interactive video humor in the TikTok age is fucking complicated! So many layers of staging and complicity and performance and irony and pretended outrage, all of it layered into a few seconds and encoded in subtle variations of facial reaction and vocal tone. It’s terrible when it goes wrong, but a joyous art form when all goes well. And like most art, there’s gonna be people who admire the best examples of it, and other people who think it’s uniformly terrible and/or a morally-suspect enterprise. Like I said: complicated!

nude blonde standing at a clean empty sink -- from a 2010 photoset out of Ukraine

Anyway, this joke usually develops on video as the camera approaches a woman in her kitchen, with soapy hands, at the sink. Male voiceover asks “What do they call it when a man comes inside his wife without a condom?” After a suitable comedic pause, which may or may not be extended by the woman giving a straight line like “I don’t know, what?” the man will say “Loading the dishwasher!” And then, usually, a moment of camera chaos as she performatively throws something at him while he ducks and dodges.

See also: “There’s a sale on dishwashers at Home Depot.”

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December 7th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Pleasure After Punishment

In the science fiction and BDSM erotica short story Punishing His War Bride by Sue Lyndon, our heroine has to her own surprise settled into a happy marriage with her stern and demanding alien husband, notwithstanding that she was basically awarded to him as tribute after Earth lost an interstellar war. When she breaks one his important rules, he spanks her harshly (of course). But then after that, it’s time for the punishment anal that she likes even more than he does:

“Promise you’ll never lie to me or my guards again, little one. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

The scent of her feminine essence grew strong he struggled to apply the final lashes, so great was his need to be balls-deep in her slick pussy. Or her ass. Fluxx, he still hadn’t decided which hole he would claim. A growl left him. Maybe he’d take both.

“Shh, it’s over, little one.” He tossed the strap aside and proceeded to massage her welted bottom cheeks as she wiped at her tears. “You took your punishment well, and I’m pleased with your obedience.” He trailed a digit through her slit, a light teasing caress. “Would you like to come?”

She mewled and bucked her hips. “Yes, please. Please.”

After stripping off his clothing, he spread her wide and mounted her, pushing his cock into her swollen center. “Then be a good girl and come as I ride you. In fact, you may come as many times as you wish while my scrotum smacks against your pretty little clit.”

Fiona cried out during yet another orgasm. She’d lost track of how many times she’d climaxed as Merokk ruthlessly pounded her. Each deep plunge into her center filled her with a mix of pleasure and pain. God, she would probably be too sore to walk when he was finished with her.

She breathed a sigh of relief when he tensed and growled and finally released torrents of his essence inside her. But to her shock, after he withdrew his thick appendage from her pussy, he reached for the lubrication that was kept in a nightstand drawer. Her heart skipped a beat, and a shiver seized her. The lube was used solely on her asshole.

“Merokk, please.” She peered over her shoulder and watched as he splayed her punished cheeks apart with one hand.

With a dark smirk, he trickled the lubrication down her crevice and massaged it into her pucker. He met her eyes as he rubbed a generous amount of lube onto his hugely erect cock.  “Your ass is mine, little female, and I intend to ride you hard.” Tossing the bottle of lube aside, he positioned his shaft at her snug entrance.

“Please, Merokk. Please have mercy.” Though she trusted him not to take her past the brink of endurance, in her nervousness, she couldn’t help but beg for leniency.

An alien snarl resounded throughout the room as he pressed his cock to her pucker and stretched her uncomfortably wide. “I like it when you beg, little one. I like watching you struggle to take my cock in your ass.”

Though he’d promised to ride her hard, he pressed forward with slow pushes, gentle nudges as he worked his way inside. He groaned and grasped her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh.

Her mind whirled and heated pleasure swept through her. The fullness was overwhelming, but she managed to accept every inch of his sizable length. He remained submerged in her for a few seconds, then he withdrew nearly the entire way and slammed back inside. She gasped for air as his balls struck her clit, and she pressed back against him, desperate for another release.

True to his word, he rode her hard and fast, claiming her ass with fervent thrusts as he growled deep in his throat.

She moaned through a thunderous climax, and she sobbed with relief when he spurted into her ass a second later. She sniffled and wiped at her face, and she mewled as he withdrew his spent cock from her ass. Her face flushed when he kept her bottom spread wide for a few moments longer than necessary, and she felt the trickle of his seed leaking from her pucker.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, and she flushed again.

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December 5th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Nothing Wrong With Porn, Dammit

It’s really common — especially among people who are still trying to reason with the unfeeling prudish moderation robots of porn-hostile social media — to argue that a certain thing is not porn, but art.

Any time you hear that argument, remember that the speaker is off the bubble and has lost the plot.

Anything can be porn. A watercolor painting of an elbow. It doesn’t matter. ANYTHING.

The important thing is that there’s nothing wrong with porn. Trying to shame social media owners into changing the nipple-shy behavior of their bots only proves that you’ve been seduced into division. “My tasteful photos are erotica, or art, or a lunch menu; it’s your stinky stuff that’s porn.”

If you’re not defending porn with your whole chest, you aren’t in the fight.

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December 4th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Fatal Distraction: Breasts

When it’s genuinely important that a man not glance to his right before a plot-critical knife-wielding assassin can strike, only one thing will do. No, make that two things, both of them breasts:

a chilly brunette bares her breasts to a man in a suit while a crazy dude with a knife lurks behind the door

Image is from the 1962 sexploitation movie Surftide 77, which got a promising capsule review in the Fall 1964 issue of Focus On magazine:

The recent Hollywood sexcapade, Surftide 77, proved that comedy can serve as an excellent vehicle for presenting nudity, sadism, fetishism, and transvestism. The story concerns a private eye who is hired by an old woman to find her niece who is about to inherit a fortune. The only way to identify the niece is through a butterfly birthmark on her left breast. After stripping many beauties, the detective finds the right girl, only to discover that old lady who hired him is really a man who wants to kill the girl!

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