December 12th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Tina has a video-illustrated pro tip for how to eat a Snickers Bar when you’re feeling slutty. The demonstration was going so well, until right at the end of the video:
Transcript (but you’ll want to watch the video if you can):
Pro tip: if you’re single and feeling slutty, but you don’t wanna add to your body count, just get a Snickers and you’re gonna eat it vein side down.
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December 10th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
What happens when a sexy leather-clad biker dude bursts into the room where a pair of lesbians are trying to enjoy some good old-fashioned sixty-nine? Well, it could go a number of different ways, but these photos come from a vintage 1970s cishet male-gaze porn magazine, so the fellow does not sit respectfully in the room’s cuck chair and watch them tenderly bring each other to orgasm:
The magazine in question is Erotica #2, but scans I have are image-only and don’t include any masthead info that might give me the publishing location or year. The look and feel is pure Danish euro-porn, Color Climax style.
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December 8th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
If you know what you want, there’s no harm in putting it out there:
“Now accepting gently-used baby mamas…”
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December 6th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
“Tell me the plot of an entire porn shoot using only a single G-rated photograph.”
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December 5th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
It feels like a very long time ago indeed that I wrote about discreet porn for women who have “bejazzled leatherette Hello Kitty e-reader covers”. In that same post I also wrote:
“Oh my god you filthy wonderful dirty wenches. Men, you have NO idea what is on the Kindles around you. NONE. You are clueless. That is all.”
The march of time since I wrote those words may have raised our awareness levels about smutty ebooks and the women who love them, but apparently the correlation between ebook porn and cutely-decorated Kindle covers still obtains. Mia recounts her observations while shoulder-surfing her friend’s reading material on a metropolitan subway:
The bitches with cute Kindle cases got to be the horniest motherfuckers I’ve ever seen! Oh my fucking god!
I’m sitting next to my bitch on the Metro, she’s like my fucking best friend. She’s got this cute little bunny rabbit cover, like whatever the fuck. I look down and it’s like “He fucks me raw from every angle, every hole was filled, he made a fourth hole by pressing my tits together…”
I’m like “Bro, this cannot be legal!”
No change in her facial expression…
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December 3rd, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Did you think that merely stepping on a LEG0 brick was painful? The LEG0 Buttplug may safely be presumed to take that experience to a whole other level:
As the saying goes, prepare your anus!
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December 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Maybe a few of you are old enough to remember the old telephone gag where some wag would call up a tobacco shop and ask “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” (Prince Albert was a popular brand of pipe tobacco; my father smoked it.) Upon an affirmative answer, the caller would shout “Well, let him out, he’s suffocating!” and hang up. Hardy har har.
Well, this is the 21st century. Forget Prince Albert, the new question is “Do you have beaver in a can?”
I don’t have an actual joke for this. But, think of the convenience!
Image is from an actual advertisement for an actual product.
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