Many a man has enjoyed the fantasy of finding a sexy naked lady wrapped up in a present under his Christmas tree. I wonder, though, how lazy a man has to be for his mind to come up with “…and wouldn’t it be awesome if she unwrapped herself from inside the package? And if she was riding a sex machine at the time? So she had a long series of orgasms while I watched, but I didn’t have to lift a finger?”

Lazy or not, that precise fantasy was the holiday bonus update scenario offered by Fucking Machines a decade ago, back in 2009. The self-unwrapping, helplessly self-orgasming gift girl was Cherry Torn. Fucking Machines is these days a channel at Kink Unlimited.

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Santa Claus isn’t human, but he does make mistakes. And he made a big one when he got caught making a delivery to Syren de Mer’s well-equipped dominatrix dungeon.

Hold on. On second thought, was it really a mistake? Or is Santa crazy like a fox?

Whatever else he is, Santa is almost certainly immortal. That means that a dominatrix sitting on his face doesn’t have to worry whether he can catch his breath:

A right jolly old elf he may be, but it looks like Santa still knows how to use his tongue:

And that is the story of how Syren de Mer and Santa Claus had a merry Christmas together.

Photos are from Santa Gets Got: Syren de Mer Catches Dale Savage in Her Dungeon. Thanks to Divine Bitches, which is a Kink Unlimited channel.

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This is one of those porn scenarios where you want to try to yell through the screen, and tell the naive young blonde “Don’t get in the van!”

I don’t care if you are broke down on a country road. Don’t get in the van, don’t get in the van, don’t get in the van — dammit! She got in the van:

Photos are from Bound Little Jogger, via Kink Unlimited.

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In Casey Calvert: Seed Freak, Nurse Casey Calvert provides a number of non-standard nursing “services” to the gentleman she finds chained to a bed in her department. This turns out to be possibly just a teeny little bit imprudent, and gets rather rough for her, especially after he gets hold of her keys and gets loose. But all’s well that ends well, right?

From Sex And Submission, a Kink Unlimited channel.

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Bearing always in mind the ErosBlog editorial doctrine that perverts are purrfectly nice people: dominant nurse Chanel Preston has a treatment for that. A pervert treatment, that is:

The image comes from a Divine Bitches shoot at Kink Unlimited called Nurse Chanel Preston’s Unorthodox Treatment for Perverts, which goes like this:

Welcome to the Divine Bitches Reformatory Clinic. Chanel Preston, head nurse, administers a uniquely unorthodox treatment to the men consigned to her “care”.

Her patient Rick Fantana is a pervert. There’s no getting around this. He’s been in pervert treatment for over a year and shows no sign of improvement. Chanel knows it’s time for the next phase: pain.

Once Rick is fully restrained with leather straps and an open mouth gag, Chanel starts right in. Electric zapper straight to the dick. Caning all of Rick’s sensitive areas. Clamping all his bits. She knows the only way this pervert will learn from his punishments is if she mixes in a little bit of pleasure. Rick’s cock gets hard and drippy but he is not allowed to cum. Edged over and over again by Chanel, he whimpers helplessly.

Phase two of pervert treatment proves more effective. Chanel straps on a huge rubber cock and fucks Rick’s ass. This pervert quickly gets rock hard again.

After the anal pounding, it’s time for Rick to learn a useful skill: pleasing a woman. Rick is made to do cunnilingus on Chanel before she flips him over and uses his dick for an epic orgasm. Then she edges him some more, until he loses all control…

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Almost a decade ago I posted one man’s account of his experience of prostate milking. He didn’t share a prostate milking photo, though. Even though he was a BDSM pornographer/photographer who loved to capture the kinky stuff that went down in his bedroom. Apparently he found the process too distracting to document in real time…

Anyway, a few years later, the world ended.

What? You don’t remember? Folks thought the Mayan calandar predicted doom on December 21, 2012. When the trump didn’t blow, they said “Oops! 2013, then.”

Yeah, no worries, as it turned out. But at the time and just in case, Mistress Madeline Marlowe and Lance Hart decided to film The Last Prostate Ever Milked On Earth. Spoiler: it turned out not to be. Oh well!

But every busted apocalyptic prediction has an upside. The upside here? A nice prostate milking photo at long last. A sort of companion piece and visual aid bookend for that ten-year-old blogged account. All thinks come to (or upon) they who wait!

Photo: Milking Lance Hart’s Prostate

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This photo comes from a shoot originally done for a site called My Friend’s Feet, but it’s currently being distributed via Kink Unlimited:

However, it will probably come as no surprise that a dude who maintains bondage stocks in his living room and tickles his “friends” beyond all mercy with an electric toothbrush also gives them handjobs while their hands and feet are tied. That’s a friendly thing to do, right?

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